Tuesday, April 1, 2014

The Third Wheel

This is how it feels to be me.  To be the dreaded third wheel.  I could say it in one word (SUCKS) but I'll stick with the words below:

The Third Wheel                  4/1/2014


It may not be thick,
but I have very deep tread.
Not necessarily fragile but extremely delicate.
Never reliable but always dependable.
These hazardous roads made me tough
but definitely not durable.

I’ve hydroplaned on unforeseen puddles before.
It’s more exhilarating than terrifying.
With my heart’s speed being the only factor,
I’m pretty sure it will happen over and over again.

I’ve slipped on idyllic ice before.
It’s more obvious than transparent.
It didn’t just turn me in a nauseating circle,
it changed my direction entirely.

I’ve been stuck in despotic mud before.
Churning these tires to get out of the trap,
only to flick more dirt on my mirrors.
Pieces of him are still on me.
I’m afraid I’ll never truly be washed clean.

I’ve been stuck in exasperating traffic before.
In fact, this is where I’ve sat for years.
Stalled in the middle lane, horns honking, others flying past me at a rate I’ll never understand.
Only my brake lights seem to be lit.

Mile after mile I can literally feel these tires wearing thin.
Screw after screw I can see them dreadfully disintegrating.
Passerbys become spectators.
This tire is bound to go crashing into their windshields.
Maybe they’ll think of me when they discover the crack I made.
I’m not just some small indention in their lives,
I am an influence on their horizon.

Yes, I could always put my hazards on
to warn you that I’m still here,
but I know you’ve got places to go
and you’ll just run me over to get there.
You’ll overlook the skid marks these tires of mine have made,
and you’ll just drive gleefully past me thanking God that
you aren’t me. 

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

HELP




               HELP!                        1/7/2014          


I can’t help but think the way I do.
Every hopeful thought is unintentionally preceded by a derisive one.
I can’t help but see the way I see.
A pristine horizon always hidden behind a numinous fog.
I can’t help but hear the things I hear.
Earnest compliments so rarely given that I confuse them with cynical criticism.
I can’t help but feel what I feel.
That I’ll forever be searching for the unattainable. 
I can’t help but be the person I am:
Just a scared little girl in a big, bad world that seems to
mercifully GIVE to others
to only ruthlessly TAKE from her.

I can’t help but think of how unfair all of this really is.
I just can’t help but wonder when someone will notice that I’m still here and in need of some serious

HELP!